It’s the cliché topic this time of year... New Year’s Resolutions!
If you make them, do you stick with them? Do you expect to keep them? Are they challenging?
Here’s the catch with New Year’s resolutions: they’re similar to habits, and they both require doing things differently than what you do currently. It takes a little more than just persistence or sheer willpower. Self-awareness and introspection can serve a resolution well.
When we know what is important to us, we can better motivate ourselves. If I don’t value spending time with others, it may be difficult to add social events to my calendar. If I value frugality and family time, it may be difficult to spend money on a gym membership and take time away from family to work toward physical fitness goals.
When we operate from our values, a conscious awareness of what is important to us, we enter a Venn diagram space where our desire for change aligns with our values. The desire for change exists for most people. The agreement with self, however, is more of a subconscious force that drives our behavior. When we bring our values and desires to the forefront of our minds, we can effectively create change.
So, this year, as you list your resolutions or hopes for the New Year, lean into your needs, wants, and desires. Explore the areas of change that you recognize. Then, look deeper at what the struggle within those areas might be (e.g., frugality vs. spending, or spending vs. limiting time with others). See where the overlap of value and desire exists (for example, getting more active with family or friends, engaging in healthy activities that don’t incur costs such as neighborhood walks or calisthenics).
If we find conflict between values and desires, we must address it head-on. Values tend to be deeply rooted, so it may be challenging to accept some of the values we hold. For instance, if the resolution is to improve my financial situation, but I hold a negative belief about money (e.g., the rich are greedy, having a lot of money will never happen for me), I may behave in ways that reinforce these core beliefs. I may see a modest lifestyle or financial struggle as admirable, without being aware of it. Awareness is where the challenge lies.
Bringing awareness to our values and beliefs, and acknowledging the change we’d like to make, creates the foundation for lasting change. We need to know what we want, why we want it, what challenges we’ve faced in working toward it previously, and then set realistic and timely goals. With earnest effort and new awareness, successful New Year’s resolutions are just around the corner!
Happy New Year, and new understandings!